Why won't Jim Ware pay me the money he promised he would pay me after her lost the contract at the Seattle Tower? Why is Patrick Shepherd making little effort at all to pay me back the few thousand he owes me? What can I do? Why didn't Patrick when he knew I was losing it back in 2003-4, help me get help or notify someone that I was losing my mind and posting things that didn't even make sense? Did he not care? Victoria should have said something too but I believe she knew less about what was happening to me... The two years to three years starting back in 2001 when I was severely targeted by Christina, street kids, a policeman (why?) drove me into a contained form of madness. Some of what I was hearing was very real, destruction of my car continually was real, smearing me around the U D was real, but it pushed me to the point I started "hearing things" and it became an art to try to tell it apart. What a nightmare my life has been ever since. I want to die so badly.
Aaron
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Through the eyes of an adult
"I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day in my fort."--ZG
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Belltown
Majority of people in this area, etc. are nothing but stubborn fools with an alarming lack of judgement. The heart and true thought is sacrificed for ignorance.
Aaron
Aaron
Monday, May 16, 2011
"Let's not mistake capitalism for democracy."--George Soros
"I am certain of only one thing: business as we know it is destroying the Earth, including all cultures and living systems. Never before has there been a system so ubiquitous, so destructive, and so well managed. It is our creation."--Paul Hawkin
"You have to take your values from your customers, your designs from nature, and your discipline from the market place."--Hunter Lovins
"It is high time the ideal of success should be replaced with the ideal of service."--Albert Einstein
"Schools as we know them are not the only way to become educated. They were invented by the Industrial Revolution, so that people in the countryside would learn to be obedient factory workers. That's the model we now force upon our children, and we wonder why so many of them are unhappy there." --Jon Young, Wilderness Awareness Schools
"I am certain of only one thing: business as we know it is destroying the Earth, including all cultures and living systems. Never before has there been a system so ubiquitous, so destructive, and so well managed. It is our creation."--Paul Hawkin
"You have to take your values from your customers, your designs from nature, and your discipline from the market place."--Hunter Lovins
"It is high time the ideal of success should be replaced with the ideal of service."--Albert Einstein
"Schools as we know them are not the only way to become educated. They were invented by the Industrial Revolution, so that people in the countryside would learn to be obedient factory workers. That's the model we now force upon our children, and we wonder why so many of them are unhappy there." --Jon Young, Wilderness Awareness Schools
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Finally Patrick Shepherd reappears out of thin air~~
Rob gave me the heads up and let me know Patrick was coming around the neighborhood. This is the person I helped stay off the street for about 11 years and spent thousands helping him. He still owes me about $2400. I ran into Patrick at Uptown Espresso and just like I figured he had no money to pay me (even though he gets money from the government) back, even a little. He said maybe he could make a payment in June. Patrick has never been known for keeping any promises and is a pathological liar (he admitted that twice to me later in our knowing each other), telling the truth when convenient. My momn was afraid that if I ever kicked him out that he would try retribution against me. None of my family liked him nor any of my friends who saw he was using me more or less the whole time. I kept defending him up until about 3 years ago when I just needed him to pay me what he owed me and if we ever got even I would ask him to leave. Whenever I tried to discuss important issues with him and tried to get a response, he would just freeze up and not talk. Victoria and I are fairly certain that he lies about me behind my back. I tried so hard to help him, I was able to help three others stay off the street and get shelter/housing. When I found out Patrick and his friends stole alcohol and food, we had fights about it and I even kicked him out for periods of time and I tried really hard to get him to stop, like another friend of his I met. There were were others too. Patrick words were "don't worry Aaron you are not a part of it." His stealing I knew of started back when I lived in the U district and was really out of it do to severe depression, PTSD, and then schizoaffective disorder. I was easy prey for someone like him and because of the past 8 years of experiences I had and had a complete breakdown, I was terrified of ever being alone except when I was asleep. I didn't even start charging Patrick rent until the last year he stayed with me. He also smoked in my apartment which was against the rules and broke other rules he agreed to as well. He just didn't care, he is very narcissistic, what a tough lesson to learn. He lied to Victoria and Marta about things as well. Patrick also invited friends of his into my room without permission, played music too loud for neighbors for what would be appropriate, they stole money, cds and a knife, who knows what else. Whole sections of artists of my cds went permanently missing. I know a huge list of people that will testify to Patrick Shepherd's behavior. I also helped Patrick do yard work and landscape work for no pay to help him out on some jobs he did in Magnolia, I also got him a full time job with benefits with Plymouth Housing risking my reputation with them as a vender there, which Patrick sometimes didn't show up and eventually he got fired. It was his fault for not showing up. I do not know the other details if there were politics involved.
Between he and Jim it would sure be nice if one of them would start paying me some of the money they owe me on good faith! Patrick has led me on three times in April that he would make payments of money owed to me and either did not show or did not have any money to pay me with. He said he would pay me this month of May, I can't reach him and he left me a v/m that he had lost his wallet and that he told me I was a good person. I can't reach him at all, his phone is always turned off. He even promised to pay me the $20 his friend Tom owed me for some gear I sold him. He had yet to pay me for even this. I let Patrick stay for free at my apartments, giving him free room and board and spent a lot of the money in my back payment to pay for our food. Patrick for years did the cooking but got to eat for free. I started helping him years back in the kitchen. Finally in the last year before I had to kick him out for yet another drinking binge (which caused damage in my apartment like other times previously) Victoria and I had to put his stuff out in the alley with a note on it for him. We made many efforts to contact him and were unable. I only starting charging Patrick for rent in the last year and he never payed the amount he signed and agreed to, only about half of it. He could have afforded to but it would have cut into his drinking budget, etc.
Hell may freeze over first.
Rob gave me the heads up and let me know Patrick was coming around the neighborhood. This is the person I helped stay off the street for about 11 years and spent thousands helping him. He still owes me about $2400. I ran into Patrick at Uptown Espresso and just like I figured he had no money to pay me (even though he gets money from the government) back, even a little. He said maybe he could make a payment in June. Patrick has never been known for keeping any promises and is a pathological liar (he admitted that twice to me later in our knowing each other), telling the truth when convenient. My momn was afraid that if I ever kicked him out that he would try retribution against me. None of my family liked him nor any of my friends who saw he was using me more or less the whole time. I kept defending him up until about 3 years ago when I just needed him to pay me what he owed me and if we ever got even I would ask him to leave. Whenever I tried to discuss important issues with him and tried to get a response, he would just freeze up and not talk. Victoria and I are fairly certain that he lies about me behind my back. I tried so hard to help him, I was able to help three others stay off the street and get shelter/housing. When I found out Patrick and his friends stole alcohol and food, we had fights about it and I even kicked him out for periods of time and I tried really hard to get him to stop, like another friend of his I met. There were were others too. Patrick words were "don't worry Aaron you are not a part of it." His stealing I knew of started back when I lived in the U district and was really out of it do to severe depression, PTSD, and then schizoaffective disorder. I was easy prey for someone like him and because of the past 8 years of experiences I had and had a complete breakdown, I was terrified of ever being alone except when I was asleep. I didn't even start charging Patrick rent until the last year he stayed with me. He also smoked in my apartment which was against the rules and broke other rules he agreed to as well. He just didn't care, he is very narcissistic, what a tough lesson to learn. He lied to Victoria and Marta about things as well. Patrick also invited friends of his into my room without permission, played music too loud for neighbors for what would be appropriate, they stole money, cds and a knife, who knows what else. Whole sections of artists of my cds went permanently missing. I know a huge list of people that will testify to Patrick Shepherd's behavior. I also helped Patrick do yard work and landscape work for no pay to help him out on some jobs he did in Magnolia, I also got him a full time job with benefits with Plymouth Housing risking my reputation with them as a vender there, which Patrick sometimes didn't show up and eventually he got fired. It was his fault for not showing up. I do not know the other details if there were politics involved.
Between he and Jim it would sure be nice if one of them would start paying me some of the money they owe me on good faith! Patrick has led me on three times in April that he would make payments of money owed to me and either did not show or did not have any money to pay me with. He said he would pay me this month of May, I can't reach him and he left me a v/m that he had lost his wallet and that he told me I was a good person. I can't reach him at all, his phone is always turned off. He even promised to pay me the $20 his friend Tom owed me for some gear I sold him. He had yet to pay me for even this. I let Patrick stay for free at my apartments, giving him free room and board and spent a lot of the money in my back payment to pay for our food. Patrick for years did the cooking but got to eat for free. I started helping him years back in the kitchen. Finally in the last year before I had to kick him out for yet another drinking binge (which caused damage in my apartment like other times previously) Victoria and I had to put his stuff out in the alley with a note on it for him. We made many efforts to contact him and were unable. I only starting charging Patrick for rent in the last year and he never payed the amount he signed and agreed to, only about half of it. He could have afforded to but it would have cut into his drinking budget, etc.
Hell may freeze over first.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
very fast quick writes on our second day of class
Greeting the world, spreading words of beauty
Covering my sins with verbal incense and pleasant ditties
As I climb cliffs to free my mind of convoluted pity
Rose colors I view my crime scene amending ponderous mistakes,
sullen and gritty
No more be grieved at that which thou has done
Smiling, enjoying a bouquet of ancient wine before I reach its dregs
The road to hell is paved with good intentions hard fought and won
Sadly I worked overtime on this Frankensteinian leg
I want to say your name
Wasn't it there in centuries of stone?
Who name's names forever known
to free our forefather's of any blame
who thought to ever try another way?
In the future this song remains the same.
the currents of people part in the rain
dancing to liquid tunes we duck and cover
why not take off our clothes together
and make magic of this weather ritual
not divided, but with one another.
There is a moment in each day that satan can not find
glimpsing sacred we whisper
a Torah or a Veda of special wine
blissful smiles the other's must endure
or be drawn to imitate a blessing.
Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard...
alight our senses with wind and fire
centuries of musical spheres aspired
A dance of the bravest as we let down our guard forever retired.
Breathing to the best of flowing wonder
Covering my sins with verbal incense and pleasant ditties
As I climb cliffs to free my mind of convoluted pity
Rose colors I view my crime scene amending ponderous mistakes,
sullen and gritty
No more be grieved at that which thou has done
Smiling, enjoying a bouquet of ancient wine before I reach its dregs
The road to hell is paved with good intentions hard fought and won
Sadly I worked overtime on this Frankensteinian leg
I want to say your name
Wasn't it there in centuries of stone?
Who name's names forever known
to free our forefather's of any blame
who thought to ever try another way?
In the future this song remains the same.
the currents of people part in the rain
dancing to liquid tunes we duck and cover
why not take off our clothes together
and make magic of this weather ritual
not divided, but with one another.
There is a moment in each day that satan can not find
glimpsing sacred we whisper
a Torah or a Veda of special wine
blissful smiles the other's must endure
or be drawn to imitate a blessing.
Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard...
alight our senses with wind and fire
centuries of musical spheres aspired
A dance of the bravest as we let down our guard forever retired.
Breathing to the best of flowing wonder
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
another quick write poem based on a first line borrowed
Urban myths hold secrets only revealed
by hidden cameras mandated by the state
while also underneath lies a vast underground so cruel
Our families can try to remain hidden in body armor
or venture forth with no weapon but trust,
a mission possibly ruinous
hiding in oceans swirling in hate propelled by
imagined flippers until we disappear
or to stay behind in smoking ruins, blacking out
There is no chance without maps, our only weakness denial
As for survivors we fathom these waves chancing on treasures
or a fetid corpse
There is little nourishment but hard tack left by others
who have drowned
Their fouled compasses left revealing lost chances,
in communal ruin.
Will you venture forth to stand your ground?
by hidden cameras mandated by the state
while also underneath lies a vast underground so cruel
Our families can try to remain hidden in body armor
or venture forth with no weapon but trust,
a mission possibly ruinous
hiding in oceans swirling in hate propelled by
imagined flippers until we disappear
or to stay behind in smoking ruins, blacking out
There is no chance without maps, our only weakness denial
As for survivors we fathom these waves chancing on treasures
or a fetid corpse
There is little nourishment but hard tack left by others
who have drowned
Their fouled compasses left revealing lost chances,
in communal ruin.
Will you venture forth to stand your ground?
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